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Author: Dachs Subject: real marriages DO occur. It's not mail order brides.
gomeljohn9
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Registered: 03-02-2014
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posted on 03-02-2014 at 18:43 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
real marriages DO occur. It's not mail order brides.

It seems so many think the bride must come "Just" to get to America. Or the man is ugly and can't get an American woman. These statements are not true. I know.

I met Sveta on a Russian dating site. The first question many people ask me is why not an American woman. My honest answer is that I saw many beautiful women on the Russian site and they seemed to have less baggage and more of a family orientation than the women I saw on some American sites. I was 44 years old and in America it seemed (to me) that I could find a decent looking (Or average) woman about 40 years old, divorced, with 1 or 2 kids, and focused on a career. In Russia, I could find a gorgeous 30 - 35 year old woman, never married, with no kids and wanting to dedicate her life to a family. I'm not saying it is right for everybody, but for ME it was a dream come true.

As for my side, I own my own business, do well for myself, and am considered decent looking. Not a hack, and not someone who could not find anyone on match or eharmony. But I felt what I saw in russia was better. So I started by writing numerous women and before getting serious with any one of them asked lots of questions. I then went over there and met with Svetlana. We continued to write after that and I visited her one more time before we decided to marry. She came over on the K-1 visa and our 90 days started. It was Not "she has to find a US citizen to marry in 90 days or go home" She had to marry ME, or go home. We had already filled out papers saying we would get married. So it's not some stranger; it's the person you came TO marry. There were issues during the 90 days, and absolutely a culture shock for her, but we worked through them.

From her side, she was looking for a man who wanted a wife. Not a mail order bride (Or sex slave and maid, as some have crudely put it in other posts), but a normal wife that he would love and cherish. Just like any woman would want! She did NOT just want to come to America, and it actually became an issue with her missing her family once she arrived here. The same family orientation that I was looking for was one of our biggest hurdles. She missed her family. But she has said many times that she did not come to a country. She came to a man. To be with her husband. If not for true LOVE, she would not give up her family to come to some other country. Not even America. She came because she wanted to find someone, and she did, and she wanted to marry me.

We married in March 2005. We will celebrate 9 years this coming week and have a 5 year old son. We both are pleased with the outcome. Although she still misses her family, she has grown to think of OUR house now as "home". We have also interacted with others who have used the K-1 process to find their spouse and must say that we have seen MANY happy marriages and only 2 not succeed. In both cases it happened that the US citizen was more to blame than the bride. (Although I know it could be either person in other relationships.)

Anyway, I just want to show that real people DO get married this way and that it DOES work out. I'll even say this. If something happened to my wife and after grieving I felt I could ever date again, I would SHUN American women in general and absolutely look towards Russia and other former USSR nations for a new bride. I guess that is the biggest recommendation I could give to these sites and the k-1 process. Without a doubt, I think more quality women are available with less baggage there than in the USA. Personal opinion, so don't crucify me for that, but I think what is missing in America is there in the old USSR. And a piece of that is now here in America too, living with me in Arizona.

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Dachs
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posted on 04-01-2014 at 16:00 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Agree

My wife is from Thailand and I have to agree with what you said about American woman. They're also selfish and self centered. Thai woman are dedicated to their husband and family. My wife missed her family but she was and is able to communicate with them everyday. She didn't come here to just come to the US, she came here to be with her husband.
Now there are woman who are looking for a trip to the US and with all woman there are bad ones from all countries. I didn't meet my wife from an internet dating site, I met her from a friend and his wife. If you can't find a good woman here in the US, look to a different country, their morals and values are very different about marriage and family.
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Replies By Dachs (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
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